Finding YOUR voice (and not giving up along the way!)
Getting comfortable with your singing voice is a true journey. It’s this internal thing that we can’t see, and so we have to get an idea of how it works by feeling—not just physically, but emotionally as well.
Exploring the voice is a different process for everyone. For me, I seemed to take to singing very naturally when I was young. But as I grew and my voice developed, I went through a lot of changes that sent my voice in many different directions.
In high school and college I was largely getting a classical/choral style vocal education, while most of my singing activities outside of school were in contemporary music environments. I was often very frustrated that the vocal technique I was building wasn’t helping me develop the stylistic sound that I ultimately wanted for the kind of music I wanted to participate in the most.
After I graduated from college, I did a post graduate program in Sydney, Australia where I truly dove into contemporary vocal training for the first time. At first, I was really excited to finally be getting the training I wanted for the kind of music I wanted to sing. But as I started exercising parts of my voice that I hadn’t really exercised in years, my whole vocal system felt turned upside down.
As I said in the beginning, singing is very internal. It’s so internal that it’s a part of our neural pathways in our brain that connect to our muscle memory. When I started shifting from a classical technique to a contemporary technique, I was building new neural pathways that took literal months and years to become “normal” or natural to me. I can remember crying and crying over how I felt like I didn’t know my voice anymore…
"My chest voice sounds like a huge ogre! I don’t know how to control it.”
“My head voice is all out of whack.”
“My voice doesn’t sound effortless—it just sounds like I’m trying all the time.”
All of the above thoughts were technically true! In the midst of a growing transition, my voice was finding its feet in my body—building new neural pathways, creating new muscle habits. And all the while, my voice was also getting new narratives in my mind and my heart.
“I’m allowed to make this kind of a sound.”
“I’m not a bad singer if I don’t get this perfectly every time.”
“I’m learning to love the voice I have while pursuing the voice I want to explore.”
Next year marks 10 years of exploring contemporary vocal training for me. I definitely had pockets of time in those 10 years where I took a break from focusing heavily on my voice—in fact, there were times I tried to ignore that I loved singing at all (that’s a story for another day!). But the beauty of having those 10 years in the rear view is being able to see just how important every curve in the road as been. It’s taken every bit of that time for me to grow into the voice I currently have, and that includes growing into myself as a person. And I’m still finding new things I want to learn!
Our singing voices are, in some way or another, intimately tied to who we are as people. Learning to love both and stick with both for the long haul means having the joy of looking at how far we’ve come and saying,”I’m glad I kept going.” If you are in the process of exploring your voice and/or a season of life that has you feeling seriously uncomfortable in the midst of the growth, hang in there. I can appreciate how messy it feels! But a growing you is not a lesser you, even when it feels like your biggest vulnerabilities are on display. You’re on the right track.
If you’re looking for an advocate and someone to help you along the journey of exploring your own voice, I would love to chat with you! You can book a free 30 minute call with me here where we can talk about where you’re at and what looks like the next right step for your singing.
